We Remain
by elizabethdiaries
Summary: Short all-canon story of how Katniss & Peeta grew back together after the war. KatnissxPeeta.
1. Chapter 1 - Start Again

Start Again

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* * *

The house was still, the house was quiet, so quiet. The house was hauntingly _empty_. It had been like this for months now. The only sound that could be heard throughout the house was the steady beating of a fragile heart, the sound of a rapid chest rising and then falling again, breathing in and out. Because that's all there was she _could_ do.

Breathe in and out, each day, every minute, and every second. And as long as she continued to do that, she knew she was alive.

A layer of dust decorated most surfaces of the victor's house in district 12. Rooms lay untouched, _her _room lay untouched. She could not; she would not open that door.

Yes, rooms lay untouched, for Katniss Everdeen slept on the couch each night. Well when she _did _sleep. When nightmares were not plaguing her soul and ghosting her dreams.

She'd gotten used to the nightmares. In fact, most nights she welcomed them with open arms. She'd rather hear the screams and cries her nightmares brought her, for otherwise she would be faced with the _other_ option. The silence. And nothing was worse than the deafening, howling, screams of the silence. Time seemed to have halted to a standstill for Katniss.

It had been many months now, well over a year since everything had come to end. Months since the war was over, months since President Snow had been assassinated.

It had been many months since her mother and Gale had moved away and it had been many months since Primrose Everdeen had died.

But she couldn't move on, she didn't w_ant _to move on, because if she did then it would make everything more real.

But deep down she knew, she knew very well that Prim was never going to come back.

Katniss lay on the couch curled up, her knees curled up to her chest. Heavy dark bruises took a permanent residence under her grey eyes, she was terribly thin, her ribs were prominent against the tatty shirt she wore.

She didn't really hunt anymore, there was no need to, there was no Gale here to go with her and there was no Prim or her mother to bring back food to.

Peeta had visited her each day, bringing her things he'd baked, but she was unresponsive. She ate enough to survive and soon he stopped visiting, he'd stopped trying to talk to her, he'd taken just to leaving the food in the kitchen and then retreating silently.

Because Peeta was also still recovering from his own deeply buried wounds and he was just as lonely as she was. He also lived in his own victor's house, alone. He didn't have any family anymore, he didn't have any friends anymore, he didn't have anything except burns and scars that were still openly bleeding from the inside out. But he had a different method for surviving than Katniss did. He got up each and every single day and baked and painted until the day was over, he did that _every _day. He'd take food to Katniss and to Haymitch. These were the things that would occupy his day and each night he dreaded sleep. Because sleep bought no relief, sleep brought nothing but nightmares that were imprinted so deeply into his mind he was sure they would never fade. Sometimes he'd lose control and he'd go back to that capitol controlled boy who saw Katniss as the enemy but he knew how to control it now, to some degree. He vowed he'd never let that side take over again, he knew he was healing and he knew it would take time, he just wished it'd hurry up.

Winter was fading, ebbing away slowly and the primroses that were planted outside were starting to bloom again. To others, that may be a sign of hope, a sign that wherever she was she would always be there with her, a sign that everything was going to be okay someday but not to Katniss. To Katniss it was just a sign that she wasn't here anymore, and whilst the flowers died and came back to life, _she _never would.

At first, things seemed okay. The flowers were planted and memories were shared and a few months later when Peeta had been released from the capitol they had made a book together, a book to honour all of the tributes who had died in the games, to tell the story of each of those who tragically lost their lives.

But after that was finished, what was there left to do? What was she supposed to do now? How could she just forget and move on with the rest of her life?

She knew that Prim would have wanted her to move on, she wouldn't want Katniss to sit here and mourn her loss forever, but how could she just _move on_?

How could she just forget about her and carry on with the rest of her life and pretend she was okay and everything was okay and was going to be fine.

Katniss knew that if it were she, if it was her who had died she wouldn't have wanted Prim to be in this position she was in now. She'd want Prim to always remember her, keep her in her heart forever but she'd want her to move forward, live a full and happy life.

And so it was with a heavy heart and aching soul that Katniss found the will to pull herself up from the couch that chilly morning and get dressed.

She didn't know exactly what she was getting dressed _for_, but she knew that this was the start of it. This was the road to _recovery_.

And it was funny, that even through all of this time, even through all of the pain and the hurt Katniss had never cried, she hadn't cried once. She'd kept that perfect calm façade, that loyal, never wavering poker face. When inside, deep inside, her insides were twisting and screaming in agony wanting to scream out and lash out and cry and wail. But she wouldn't do that. She'd remain strong.

So much for strong she laughed to herself bitterly, once with no humour. She hadn't even made it halfway up the stairs before she had collapsed again, her knees going weak. She buried her head in her knees, taking deep breaths in and out, trying to calm herself.

_I can do this, I can do this_ she told herself, hoisting herself up and continuing up the stairs. With shaky hands and steady breaths she opened the door to her bedroom.

It wasn't like she hadn't been in here, of course she had but that didn't mean it took a great deal of effort. Reminders of Prim lay in here, she could only wonder what it would be like to step into _her _bedroom, she didn't think she could, she didn't think she was that strong yet.

She got dressed quickly and slammed the door shut, not wanting to linger unnecessarily.

And then she could see it perfectly, just a little down the hallway. Her name in pink letters hung prettily on the door. Her breathing hitched as she unconsciously took a step towards the door, and then another, followed by another until she was right outside the door.

'Prim' she choked out, as if Prim was doing her homework on the other side of the door or something, as if she would come bounding out any second, her golden hair fanned out and her face bright and smiley looking to feed Buttercup. As if she was actually _here_.

Katniss collapsed to her knees right in front of the door, and tried to control the strange breathy, gasps, the horrible hyperventilating that seemed to be coming from her mouth. She raked her fingers through her hair, trying to steady herself and suddenly, _suddenly _she didn't want to be alone anymore.

…

She didn't know how she got off the floor and made her way down the stairs, she didn't know how she found a jacket and put on her shoes, she didn't know how she opened the door and started to walk and she certainly didn't know how she ended up outside Peeta Mellark's door.

She inhaled deeply before slowly knocking the door.

Because she knew that Peeta was just as alone, just as scared, just as tired as her. She was tired of it and she couldn't fight it anymore, she didn't want to be alone anymore, she was tired of everything, she was tired of the sleepless nights, she was tired of fighting this war by herself. She'd won the physical war, but the real war was buried deep inside of her, and she knew Peeta was in exactly the same position.

That was okay, they could be lonely together.

And maybe, just maybe, they could fight this war together aswell.

She waited patiently for Peeta to come and open the door. It was several minutes before she finally heard footsteps approaching and the door opened wide. Peeta stood there, his clothes were smeared with paint and he had a brush in his hands. He looked at Katniss expectantly, blinking several times to make sure that she was actually there and he wasn't just imagining it.

'I thought you could use some company' Katniss said, her voice flat as she dropped the hand that was raised. 'I'm sorry if it's a bad time' she finished.

Peeta blinked again once more and shook his head

'No it's fine, I was just finishing something up actually' he confessed, moving slightly out of the way to allow her to come through 'come in'

Katniss smiled quickly and walked past Peeta into his house. The interior and structure of Peeta's house was exactly the same, identical to hers. That's how all the victor's houses were. However there was only one thing that made Peeta's house stand out in comparison with her and that was from all of the paintings he had all over the walls. Mostly abstract art, a random observer would guess at but Katniss knew exactly what was hidden in all of these pictures even If it were not obvious to others. For example, a red and golden sun setting, a beach with Fresh Ocean blue water in the front, and a palm tree. But hidden you could see the little bird tapping away at the palm tree, you could see the trees dotted with flecks of red, you could make out the monkey, perched with a snarl on his lips in the right hand corner in the distance. Katniss found all of this to be very disturbing; she wanted to ask Peeta why he did this. Why did he keep these awful pictures in his house to remind himself of his horrendous past each day? But she also knew that this was not the time. If she wanted to try and reconcile what she and Peeta once had it would probably be best to start with something light.

Peeta gestured to a chair for her to sit on in the living room and she sat down.

He set his brush down and sat down on the chair across from her. They both looked at eachother and then their eyes darted away again. A spot on the wall suddenly seemed to be very interesting to Katniss. An awkward silence washed over the cold room and Peeta breathed heavily before speaking.

'Would you like anything to eat…or drink?' He asked

'No thank you' Katniss answered a little too quickly and the room was silent once more.

What had happened to him? She thought. Her brave, strong Peeta, always so brilliant with words was now tapping his foot nervously on the hardwood floor and avoiding her gaze as he twiddled with his thumbs.

We're so broken, she thought.

'I'm sorry I haven't been over or anything-'she started to say but he cut her off.

'It's okay, I understand' he said quickly.

She nodded once before breathing deeply.

None of them knew what to say to eachother. What was there to say? There was nothing to say anymore. There was just _nothing_. Everything was empty. Houses were empty, streets were empty. _They _were empty. Just shells of what they used to be. Empty vessels.

But it doesn't have to be like that forever, Katniss thought. There had to be hope right? They couldn't just live out the rest of their existence in this hollow state. There had to be something more. Something good had to come out of all this mess.

She loved Peeta. She knew that much.

And if she was capable of love then there had to be hope. Because love was an emotion. The most powerful, the rawest kind of emotion that existed. And if she could love, then she knew that she could _feel_. And she needed to feel. She needed to feel everything. There was no denying it anymore. She had to feel all the hurt, and the despair and the pain in order to heal and in order to move on. And in order to love. But she couldn't do it by herself. She didn't w_ant _to do it by herself.

'I know this is hard Peeta' she said softly. Well as softly as she could manage. 'But we can't go on like this anymore.'

'I know' he said quietly back.

She nodded again and took a deep breath.

'So how about we start over?' she finally said.

This time he looked up and finally met her eyes. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

'What do you mean?' he asked

'My name is Katniss Everdeen' she said confidently looking him in the eye as she extended her hand out.

He looked at her for a moment before a small smile played on his lips.

'It's nice to meet you. I'm Peeta. Peeta Mellark' he said reaching his hand forward.

Their hands touched and Katniss finally let out that breath of air she'd been holding in.

And finally she could sense hope.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Taste of Your Lips

The Taste of Your Lips

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Katniss started to invite Peeta to stay at meal times when he brought her food over. He accepted, and they ate together. Sometimes even Haymitch would make his grand appearance, waltzing through the doors half drunken holding a bottle of liquor in his hands as he tried to accomplish the great task of finding his way to a chair. Greasy Sae was finally back from where ever she had been for the past few months and had insisted on helping Peeta with the food at dinner and looking after Katniss who she insisted still needed a parental figure somewhat. Most of the time she took over completely and then silently retreated or she'd bring food with her so she didn't have to stay and cook. She wasn't much of a talker. Katniss felt a little bad for having an almost 'personal chef' but she was reminded by Peeta than other than to look after her granddaughter, Sae didn't really have anything else to do. It was a delight for her to cook for them. Katniss didn't say anything about it afterward.

None of them spoke much when they ate and then Peeta would always leave quickly and Katniss was left alone again. She thought that she and Peeta could at least try to be friends, after everything they had both been through. But then again, maybe they weren't ever really friends. They never had the opportunity to just be 'friends.' Thanks to the games, they'd just skipped the friend's stage completely and stepped straight into 'star-crossed' lovers. She didn't really know what to think. She just wished it was easy, like it used to be. Being with Peeta used to be as easy as breathing, and now…now it was forced and exaggerated.

That night after dinner, Peeta said his quick goodbyes and hurried out of Katniss' house. Katniss sighed audibly and buried her head in her hands. Haymitch watched her from across the table, taking a swig of his drink and then barking out a throaty laugh. Katniss looked up and glared at him.

'What's so funny?' she snapped

'Nothing, nothing' Haymitch said still laughing.

Katniss watched him with an icy glare as he took another long swig of drink and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, getting some on his dirty shirt.

'You and him' Haymitch said, gesturing to the door. 'Such fools.'

Katniss looked at him confused.

'Maybe if you weren't so determined, you'd tell him how you really feel' he said

'I don't feel anything' she said coldly.

'Oh really? Could have fooled me' he said laughing again. 'You're nowhere near good enough for that boy, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can't even find the guts to tell him you're glad he came all the way back to district 12 for you.'

Katniss couldn't look him in the eyes. She didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Haymitch was right. He _had_ come all the way back from the Capitol. He didn't have to, he had nothing left here, but he did. He came back for Katniss. He came back for her. But he sure wasn't acting like it.

'Yeah?' Katniss quizzed 'well if he loves me so much why does he always leave so quickly? Why doesn't he speak to me? It's like he hates to be around me, and I've tried.' She said indignantly.

'You've tried?' Haymitch sneered 'you honestly call _that _trying. You don't speak hardly one word to the boy.'

Katniss opened her mouth to reply but then shut it quickly again. Haymitch was right. Peeta had been through a horrible traumatic experience and as usual, she was always only concerned with how things affected _her_. Suddenly fed up of thinking and talking she got up to put her plate in the sink and show Haymitch the way out. He just laughed as he stumbled towards the front door slipping over his own feet many times. When he'd finally got out Katniss shut the door angrily and stomped upstairs to her bedroom.

Yes, she'd finally started using her bedroom again. She had accepted the fact that she couldn't sleep on her couch forever. It was lonely up here and a slight chill ran through the room even though it wasn't cold. She couldn't help but wish Peeta were here with her. His strong, warm, comforting arms there to wash away all the nightmares. There to help heal the pain.

She wanted him here so badly but she'd never admit it. She doubted he'd ever stay anyway, not with the way she'd acted towards him. But then she dismissed that idea. Peeta would never hold anything against her. Maybe he was just tired of having to be the one to try and make the effort all the time.

Maybe she needed to.

And so that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Both Katniss and Peeta spent that time getting to know eachother again. Katniss tried her very hardest to make an effort. They both became reacquainted with one another. Both avoided the subject of the games or the war or the destruction and death. They focused on much simpler things. Like their favourite colours, their favourite things to do. Their hopes and dreams. But there's only so much you can say before you eventually run out. And that's exactly what happened one night when Katniss was at Peeta's. It was late at night and the sky had turned black. The house felt cold and silence filled the air. And that's when Katniss noticed a small picture on the wall that had not caught her attention before. It was a field of primroses. The sky was a deep violet blue and the beautiful evening primroses ranged from golden yellow to soft dusty rose. Pale pinks and creams dotted all over the canvas and Katniss couldn't look away. In the distance of the picture there was a small blonde girl playing in the flowers. Prim.

Peeta's eyes followed Katniss' and landed on the picture he had painted a few months after the war. He held his head down, waiting for the torrent. He knew this act; this _game _they were playing couldn't last long. He prepared himself for Katniss' anger and painting that particular picture. But whatever storm he was waiting for didn't come. Instead, all he heard was a whisper.

'I tried so hard to save her, I tried so hard to keep her safe' Katniss whispered quietly. Peeta wasn't sure whether she was speaking to him or to herself so he had no idea what to say. He kept quiet.

'From the very beginning I tried to save her. From the very beginning!' Katniss cried, standing up. Peeta kept his eyes downcast. Her voice was getting louder and she was clearly getting angrier.

'I went into the games so she wouldn't get killed, I had Gale get them game so she wouldn't starve, Gale made sure to get her out when they bombed our home!' Her fists were clenched at her sides and she was speaking through her teeth.

'And then I made sure she was safe in 13 when we all went to the capitol and she followed us! I had no idea she followed us!' Katniss yelled pacing up and down the living room.

'She wasn't 14; she shouldn't have been on the medical team! She shouldn't have been there Peeta! She shouldn't have!'

Peeta finally looked up from the floor and looked at Katniss. What was there to say? Nothing he could say would make anything better. Nothing could make her come back.

'And now she's dead! Because I couldn't save her… if I just could have reached her in time' Katniss said trailing off, shaking her head.

'It wasn't your fault' Peeta said. That much he knew was true.

'I didn't save her Peeta' she said, looking him directly in the eyes, 'and even my own mother is disgusted with me, she can't even bare to be in the same district as me'

'That isn't true and you know it' Peeta said, 'she had to leave, she can't be here because there's too many reminders.'

'I have reminders! And I'm still here!' Katniss yelled. 'All the people I've had to watch die, all the people I DIDNT SAVE' she shouted.

She looked at Peeta with frantic eyes.

'Rue…'

'Don't' Peeta said 'don't do it Katniss?' He knew what she was about to do. She was about to list off all of the people she thought she didn't save.

But Katniss didn't listen to him. She breathed heavily as she raked her fingers through her tangled hair.

'Mags, Finnick, Cinna, Boggs, my sister…' she was breathing hard and her eyes were unfocused.

'You! I couldn't even save you!' she said.

'I see them all. I see them all the time. I see all the people who I loved as they disappear one by one. And then I see all the people I killed, all the people I hurt. I see it every single day.' She was making these strange hysteric noises and Peeta looked away. Tears welled in his eyes at seeing the girl he loved like this. She was always so strong. And now… and now she looked like a broken doll. He knew exactly what she felt. Because he felt exactly the same. He had nobody left. Nobody.

She finally fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

He couldn't just sit here and do nothing.

He finally managed to get up and move toward her. Slowly and hesitantly he knelt beside her and put an arm around her shoulder.

'Do it Katniss, just let it go' he told her.

'I can't' she whispered.

'Yes you can. You have to.' He urged.

And finally she just couldn't hold it in anymore. She had to let it out. There was too much pain, too much hurt.

She sobbed endlessly into her hands and Peeta held her tighter.

She fell asleep in Peeta's arms, right there on the floor. And that's exactly where they both woke up. For the first time in months she hadn't had a nightmare. Her dreams hadn't been plagued with screams from the arena and the sound of the bombings as they went off. She had slept peacefully. And she knew that it's because she was with Peeta.

She could feel his arm firmly gripped around her waist and she was pressed right against him.

She risked a glance up at him and he was staring down at her. She savoured the moment for a few seconds before removing herself from Peeta's hold and sitting up. Peeta gave an inaudible sigh and sat up with her.

'I'm sorry' she mumbled. She couldn't believe what had gotten into her last night. She was ashamed for her behaviour. She must look such a mess right now.

'I best get going' she said quietly getting to her feet but she had barely taken two steps forward before Peeta reached out to grab her arm and spun her around to face him.

'There's nothing to be sorry for' he said.

'I have to go' she said not meeting his gaze.

'Where do you have to go?' Peeta said his voice firm. 'You said it yourself Katniss. We don't have anywhere _to go_ or anybody to go to. You can't keep shutting me out anymore.'

She didn't say anything. She felt a teardrop run down her face and angrily wiped it away. Why couldn't she stop crying?

'Look' Peeta said, walking right up towards her and tilting her face to meet his eyes. He grabbed both of her hands and placed them in his.

'Our lives are a mess. But we saved other people's lives. When will you realise that it isn't your responsibility to save everyone? The games, the capitol, it's all over. And even though we've lost so many people, every single one of those people who died…they wanted this. They w_anted _this Katniss. They wanted people to grow up in a safe world. Without fear of being put into the games. They wanted to make a difference. And they did. Every single one of those people who died wanted this. They wouldn't want us to grieve over them forever. They'd want us to move on. They'd want us to live. They'd want us to be _happy_.'

'I know' Katniss whispered, the tears threatening to surface again.

'Otherwise, what's the point?' Peeta said, letting her hands go and taking a few steps back to gesture to the window where a few passers-by were walking.

'What was the point of it all? If we don't live, if we don't move forward, then they died for nothing.' He said.

'How do we move on?' Katniss choked out 'how, I mean _how_ can we just forget?' she asked

'We don't forget' Peeta said, stepping toward her again. 'We never forget, but we learn to let go.'

After a long moment of looking into Peeta's hypnotising blue eyes, she finally nodded.

She wanted to let go. She wanted to be f_ree_.

'I can't do it by myself' she finally admitted. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

'You never had to' Peeta replied.

'But you have to let go to' she told him, determined now.

Her eyes flickered to all of the paintings on the walls and his eyes followed hers before returning to the floor.

'I don't even mean to paint those things…they just kind of paint themselves.' He said.

'You need to get rid of them Peeta'

'I know' was all he said.

Katniss wasn't exactly sure what had come over her in that moment but she hesitantly reached up to stroke Peeta's face gently. She had forgotten how much he had been through aswell. She'd been consumed in all of her own pain; she hadn't really spared many thoughts for Peeta.

Peeta leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. She moved her hand slowly down his warm face, all the way down so that it was resting over his heart.

Peeta moved his hand so that it was placed over hers and slowly their fingers intertwined with one another.

They both watched their hands before their eyes met.

Katniss…she didn't know how to do this properly. She didn't really know how to be affectionate or loving anymore. She was heavily out of practice. And she especially didn't know how to do it for _real_. But she wanted to…desperately because she loved Peeta. More than anything now.

Peeta mirrored her movements by moving his free hand to trace over her cheekbone lightly.

Their breaths were shallow and their heartbeats were racing.

Peeta was the one who closed the agonising distance.

Their lips finally touched.

_I've missed this_ was the first coherent thought to enter Katniss' mind ever since Peeta had been so close to her. His intoxicating scent washed over her. His hand found its way to the small of her back gently pulling her flush against his chest and she sighed.

The kisses were gentle and soft at first but they grew more urgent and forceful. When their tongues finally sought one another Katniss could taste all of him. He tasted like cinnamon and vanilla, and…he tasted like _Peeta_. Warm and delicious.

_I could kiss him forever_ she thought.

Too soon they had to break away panting for air breathlessly but Peeta still wanted to feel her soft skin underneath his lips. He trailed his mouth across her jaw line and down to her neck sucking softly and Katniss almost made a noise. She could feel that thing again. That thing that she'd felt in the quell, the last time Peeta had kissed her with such ferocity. She wrapped her arms around him, clinging onto him not wanting to let go. Her eyes finally travelled up to meet his as he looked down at her. He brushed a piece of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead gently.

'Stay' he said quietly.

'Always' she breathed.


	3. Chapter 3 - Picking Up the Broken Pieces

Picking up the broken pieces

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* * *

Katniss _did _stay that night. In fact she stayed every night. She stayed every day aswell. It came to a point where Peeta had started to think that maybe she should just pack up all of her things and move in permanently with him but he wanted to take things slow. He didn't want to rush things and he didn't want to mess up all the progress they had made with their relationship so far. They kissed often now and they held eachother through the night as they slept. They both found they could sleep so much better now and the nightmares were at bay for the most part.

At breakfast that day Katniss asked Peeta if he'd like to go somewhere with her and he nodded with no further questions.

It was summer now and the air was warm. The flowers were in full bloom and the Primroses at Katniss' house were brighter and more beautiful than ever before. Peeta had planted some outside of his house aswell. He said that they were a sign of strength and hope. A sign that one day, all of this would be worth it. All of the hurt and the pain and everything they'd ever been through would all have meaning. He truly believed that with all his heart. And that was why Katniss was beginning to realise that Peeta was exactly what she _needed_. She needed that breath of fresh air in her life. That ray of sunshine to break up the dark. She needed that reassurance that someday, everything was going to be okay again. She needed Peeta like she needed the air to breathe. And she had never been more sure of Peeta now than she had of anything in her life before. He was her dependency, her diamond in the rough. He was all she had left.

They left after they'd ate and Katniss led the way, following a familiar route she hadn't taken in ages. It had been just too painful for her to venture down. Without _him_. But with Peeta, she felt stronger. She felt as if she could do this. She felt the warm ground and the gravel shift underneath her feet as she walked. She'd made an effort today. She'd worn a loose fitting short white sundress and brushed her hair out, keeping it down for a change instead of the preferred fish tail plait. It had all grown back after most of it had been singed off in the war and she hadn't cut it since. It was way longer now than it had been in a long time. There were still some scars left in places on her skin but nothing overly serious. They would heal. The real wounds were inside and she knew somehow they would never fully heal.

Peeta trailed behind Katniss wordlessly, following her as she led the way through the dense woods. The electrical chain link fence had been removed and people were now allowed to come and go through the woods as they liked although they rarely did. It was amazing at how much the world had changed around them. _Two teenagers changed the world_ Peeta thought. How extraordinary. But he surely didn't feel like it. He felt deflated and tired. Things were better now that he had Katniss but it would take some time. Luckily for Peeta, he was optimistic and he knew that one day everything would be okay.

It was a really hot and humid day and after almost half an hour of walking, Peeta was starting to get tired. He didn't know where Katniss was taking him but he needed to rest soon. He had many physical scars left as a result of the war and he was no longer able to go for long periods of time, especially with his leg. He hoped she wasn't taking him hunting. Not that he'd ever tell her but that was something that he just didn't want to be a part of. He'd seen enough bloodshed to last him a lifetime and couldn't even comprehend the thought of killing anything anymore. It would just trigger too many things.

'Were nearly there' Katniss said, turning around abruptly and flashing him a quick smile.

Peeta was stunned for a moment by how breath taking she looked as the sunlight reflected off of her beautiful hair and the side of her face, cascading her in a heavenly glow.

One look at that smile and he knew that things would be okay. They walked a little further and then Katniss stopped. She used her hand for leverage to hide her from the sunlight as she squinted into the distance and beckoned Peeta with her free hand to come and join her.

'Do you see?' She asked him

Peeta squinted but didn't see anything.

'No' Katniss said, shifting him slightly 'over there.'

Peeta looked again and was amazed at the sight before him. A glistening lake spread out vastly over the ground and colourful wild flowers decorated the banks. The light from the sun ricocheted off of the clear blue water making it sparkle like diamonds.

'It's beautiful' he answered honestly.

Katniss turned towards him and grabbed his hand in hers and walked them over. They sat at the edge of the water and drank in the beautiful sight set out before them.

'My dad used to bring me here in the summer, he taught me how to swim' Katniss said, after a few moments of silence as she looked into the distance remembering the fond memory.

Peeta smiled, easily picturing Katniss' handsome father and Katniss as a child swimming here in the lake. Such a distant time ago now.

'Well it sure did come in handy' Peeta said and then a silence washed over between the two. Peeta immediately regretted what he'd said. The last thing he'd wanted to do on this beautiful day was drag up bitter memories.

'I'm sorry' he started 'I didn't mean…'

Katniss cut him off 'it's okay' she said softly.

She stared up into the sky and a single teardrop escaped her eyes.

'I miss him' she said quietly 'I miss everybody you know?' she said turning towards him hurrying quickly to wipe the tears that were now falling.

Peeta grasped her hands and pinned them to her sides.

'Let it out' he whispered.

She breathed in deeply.

'When he died, I'd never felt so alone and empty in my life' she said 'I came here once, after he was gone…but it just wasn't the same. I always wanted to bring Prim someday…' she trailed off taking in deep breaths of air. Peeta let go of her hands to pull her into his side. He wrapped an arm around her and raked his fingers through her hair gently and they were silent for a while.

She turned slightly to look up at him and he lifted her head up to meet his eyes keeping one hand on the back of her head as she sat up.

'You're the only person I've ever brought here' she said in a barely audible voice.

This shocked Peeta greatly. Surely she would have come with Gale?

As if sensing what he was thinking Katniss continued on.

'I've came close with _other _people, but somehow it just felt so _intimate _to share mine and my father's place' she admitted.

'And what about me?' He asked

'It feels right to be here with you' she said as she leaned into kiss him.

Peeta kissed her back feverishly, crushing his warm lips to hers as her hands wound their way up into his hair to hold onto. He fell onto his back with the force of the kiss and Katniss fell on top of him never breaking their searing liplock. Their hands roamed all over eachother and the heat radiating off of their skin was magical. Katniss never wanted to let go. When they were both panting breathlessly for air Peeta rolled over pinning Katniss beneath him and attacked her neck with soft and delicate kisses which trailed down to her jaw and down to her exposed shoulder. Katniss lay back, feeling the warmth of the sun on her face and revelling in Peeta's touch and thinking that she hadn't felt this good for a very long time. Peeta finally broke away to roll onto his side as he lay next to her but he locked his fingers with hers immediately not wanting to sever their contact. Katniss sighed and looked up at the clear blue sky as a flock of birds flew across the heavens. She stared at the vast blue atmosphere and wondered.

She'd never been a particularly religious person but she couldn't believe that Prim _didn't_ exist somewhere out there. She didn't believe that she was _truly _gone. She had to believe that she was there watching over her and smiling down on her. She believed that her pure, beautiful and innocent spirit lived on.

She turned to look at Peeta as he was also staring at the sky. He looked beautiful in the sunlight she thought. The light summer air illuminated his glorious features. She was so glad she had him. His blonde hair falling over his face and his big blue eyes reminded her of Prim's own fair complexion and that bought comfort to her. She squeezed his hand tightly and let the warmth wash over her face.

After a while, Katniss turned to Peeta.

'Do you want to go in the water?' She asked quietly

Peeta grimaced for a moment and she could sense his hesitation. She knew that the last time Peeta had been in water was in the Quell and the last thing she wanted to do was trigger any memories. She'd brought him here today because she was so deeply connected with him that she wanted to share one of her most treasured memories from her past with him. She wanted to try and open up to him more emotionally and she also thought that they might be able to have some mindless fun. Away from everything, in the water on a lovely day.

'You don't have to' she said quickly 'it was just an idea.'

He turned fully to face her and cupped her face in his hand.

'I'd love to go in the water with you' he said 'just don't laugh at me when you see how bad I am at swimming.'

'Never' she smiled.

They both stood up and awkwardly began the process of removing their clothes. Both Katniss and Peeta were fully aware that this was a milestone they had yet to cross. Although they were now opening up to eachother more emotionally, _physically _they remained very much in the pg13 range. Things rarely got too hot and heavy and they always broke away before anything could get too far. Both of them didn't know if they were ready for that next step just yet but that was okay Katniss thought. One day she'd be ready for him. After all, they had the rest of forever together right? Katniss knew she was never going to want anybody else besides Peeta. It would always be him. Nobody else could make the nightmares disappear like he could; nobody else ran their fingers softly through her hair and murmured sweet things in her ears when she lost it. Nobody understood her like he did or had been through the things they had together. She'd never love anybody as much as she loved him.

She wished she could tell him how much he meant to her and how grateful she was that he had come back here for her. He didn't have anything to come back to, he came to _her_. She wanted to tell him how good he made her feel and how much better everything was now that he was there with her but she couldn't. She couldn't find the words to express the extent of her feelings to Peeta. She'd never been very good with words, that was Peeta's job and she was always afraid that she'd say something which would ruin everything. She did the best she could for now and smiled at him.

Katniss removed her dress and suddenly felt foolish for suggesting the idea. She stood before Peeta in her bathing suit she had put on underneath. It wasn't a bikini but it was a rather scanty swimsuit, sent from Effie in the Capitol as a present and she felt exposed. Effie had sent several presents in fact. And all of them were some sort of underwear or undergarment, all unlike anything Katniss had ever worn herself and for the most part she kept them hidden under her bed at her house. Except for this one, because she didn't have anything else. She looked up from her reverie to see Peeta's eyes glazing over her body and felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

'Quit staring at me and come get in the water' she said teasingly to diffuse the awkwardness. She glided over to the water and jumped. She went underwater and when she resurfaced she was smiling widely, her face and hair dripping. It was exhilarating.

Peeta watched from the bank in awe at how breathtakingly beautiful Katniss looked as she swam flawlessly across the water. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, desperate to join her in the water but also afraid to reveal himself. He was ashamed at the scars the war had left all over his body. He was ashamed of his leg. He was embarrassed and although he knew Katniss wouldn't judge him for that, he definitely wondered what would really be running through her mind when she looked at him. What a contrast she'd see to the happy go lucky scar-free boy who first entered the Hunger Games.

'Are you coming in or not?' Katniss said, looking at him expectantly.

_Here goes nothing _Peeta thought as he quickly removed his clothes and tossed them on the floor. Katniss' eyes travelled over him and she offered her hand out to Peeta. He came forth and took hold of it as he gently lowered himself into the cool water.

'What were you afraid of?' She whispered taking both of his hands underneath the lake and holding them tightly.

'That you'd be horrified at my scars' he admitted

She nodded for a second and brought her hand up to caress the side of Peeta's face.

'I could never be horrified at all of the brave ways that you fought for your life, for _mine _and for everybody else's. You're beautiful Peeta, every part of you.' She assured him and he smiled as she leaned in to kiss him.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the lake. Katniss taught Peeta how to swim a few strokes and rewarded him with kisses each time he got it right. They were getting hungry though and she knew Peeta was getting tired so they headed back around four. By the time they got back to Peeta's house they were both exhausted. Sae came just a little while after they got back and she stayed and ate with them before heading home. Haymitch was nowhere to be seen today but neither of them really cared. They stayed up for a while and Katniss watched as Peeta drew a picture, running her hands through his soft hair and praising him every now and then.

After a shower they went to bed together and Peeta held Katniss in his arms and buried his face into the crook of her neck feeling the strands of her hair flitter across his eyelashes. He felt warm and content and peaceful. She shifted in his arms to turn around and face him and she brought her hand up to brush across his eyelids.

'Goodnight Peeta' she murmured leaning in to brush her lips across his softly.

He kissed her back gently and whispered goodnight into her ear.

Maybe time really could heal all wounds.

* * *

Stay tuned for chapter 4, soon & leave a review telling me what you think.


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